Special babies go to special people. I hate this phrase.
I hate it because it is untrue and because I can't help but feel that the speaker of said phrase is only saying it to make themselves feel better.
I know it is untrue because I have met lots of parents of special needs kids who are not fabulous parents, who have done some pretty horrific things to their kids, and who have not done a very good job of meeting their kids special needs.
This is definitely NOT the case with ALL parents I meet, but I have met some real winners, to be sure. The phrase "apple....tree" comes up fairly frequently actually - as in "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree".
Obviously this isn't the case with DS, where the disability is coming from extra genetic material, but I still question the validity of saying that only people capable of raising a child with special needs are given one.
Oh, there is a special irony that I can appreciate in having a spec ed teacher like myself have a child with DS. But I don't do her kind of spec ed, or work with her age group. So I am just as unprepared as everyone else when something like this happens.
I know I don't sound unprepared now. I sound pretty confident and self assured. That 's because my secret passion is research. I LOVE research. I love reading. I love saying the phrase, "Well, the research says that...". Seriously. It may be my favourite phrase in the entire world after "I love you".
I read the research, assimilate it into my bank of knowledge and strategies, and launch from there prepared to tackle our latest challenge. And when I don't know what to do, I ask our fabulous supports from the DS team, or my small group of mom's who, like myself, are trying to do the best by our kids. It's a win-win situation.
So special babies do not all go to special parents. But I am thankful to have met a small group of us who are pretty wicked parents and who have special little kids with DS.